"I was bitten must have been the devil"

Friday, May 20, 2011

It's coming

So, I guess the Rapture is coming tomorrow? Sweet. Does that mean we're all gonna die or something? Or is that Jesus coming back to Earth? If he's coming back I've got a bone to pick with that guy.

Thousands of years ago, the Jews were enslaved by the Egyptians and God brought his wrath right into Cairo and kicked some ass, there were floods, famine, locusts, and death. Then, in the 1940's, Jews were rounded up by Nazi's and burned alive and turned into lamp shades. Where the fuck was he then? Sitting on his hands?
Oh yeah, he sent America to fix it because we're exceptional. I bet we didn't seem so great when we were slaughtering Native Americans and taking people from Africa and selling them. He didn't do anything then either. So what gives? Now that bin Laden is dead he's gonna come down here and get praise? For what? Everyone in this world has one phrase "what have you done for me lately?".
I don't mean to come across as some cynical asshole, but seriously, you let all these people suffer for thousands of years and we're supposed to be grateful?
Yeah, I'm going to hell...whatever lol.

10 comments:

  1. Red:

    It doesn't sound like you are going to give away your possessions today. :^)

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  2. "So, I guess the Rapture is coming tomorrow? Sweet. Does that mean we're all gonna die or something? Or is that Jesus coming back to Earth?"

    The Rapture is (according to those who believe in a pre-tribulation Rapture) when all of the Christians and children get sucked up to Heaven, leaving their clothing behind. Jesus doesn't come back for a while after that... after earthquakes and famines and the seas turning to blood and a bunch of other stuff. (This is only an attempt to answer your questions; I do not believe that anything out of the ordinary is necessarily going to happen tomorrow!)

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  3. The way it "works," BC, is that God is all-powerful but he has chosen not to intervene in earthly affairs (except when he does. Maybe).

    Your "mission," Bryan, should you choose to accept it, is to bear up in the face of all manner of grief, misery, sorrow, injustice, whatever (and some good stuff, too) and "keep the faith." Your "faith" tells you that "God" will reward you in the end (if you don't mess up; no guarantees).

    As to "the Rapture," that is derived from a particular interpretation of some passages from "The Bible," relying heavily on the last book, Revelation (or Apocalypse), and based on the idea that "God" doesn't mind condemning billions of "His children" to an eternity of suffering. It seems to rise from an "I'm better than you" mindset.

    "Ha ha, God's gonna rapture me and leave you behind. Nyah nyah."

    When it doesn't actually happen tomorrow it will deflate these "believers." For a while.

    Hope this helps. ; )

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  4. Red Skeeter, I have something to tell him as well when you've said your piece. I want to throw it in his face that he and his father have both been utterly ineffectual in preventing war, violent crime against women and preventing shamans from hi-jacking their promises and bending them to their own advantage. And so long as they are helpless or unwillingl to prevent little kids from being kidnapped for slavery, sex, murder, or from eastern nations sold through a bogus "adoption" industry into the west, I for one won't be washing his feet.

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  5. As far as today's Rapture is concerned, I think that those responsible are just trying to get a little airtime before they go back in their holes for hopefully, another century or so. God has created all things and as so, also has created a few cynical assholes,murderers,tyrants,socialists.... and other aberrations just to make life a bit more of a challenge for those who have the Faith. Of course, He also made some people who think that they are smarter than others and He has given them the talent to write dribble on blogs....

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  6. A few interesting reactions here...

    Whit- No, I chose not to leave behind my possessions. Not this time anyway...

    Nota- Yes, I have noticed that sometimes he does seem to interfere with life on Earth, except for when he doesn't. It could be a massive superiority complex, maybe he goes to therapy for that.

    Michelle- Thank you for your definition of what the Rapture is supposed to be, and for recognizing what some tongue in cheek humor looks like ;)

    Fringe- I think feet are gross, rest assured I will not be washing anybody's feet no matter how great they are.

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  7. I'd like to reply to this comment separately...

    Anonymous said...

    "As far as today's Rapture is concerned, I think that those responsible are just trying to get a little airtime before they go back in their holes for hopefully, another century or so. God has created all things and as so, also has created a few cynical assholes,murderers,tyrants,socialists.... and other aberrations just to make life a bit more of a challenge for those who have the Faith. Of course, He also made some people who think that they are smarter than others and He has given them the talent to write dribble on blogs...."

    First I would like to say welcome to a new reader. Secondly, I would like to point out that I have never in my life claimed to be smarter than anyone. I am a person who calls them as I see them, and when it comes to a bit of humor nothing is sacred with me.
    Was my post cynical and sarcastic? Sure, but I believe I have been given that right,and not by any creator but by American soldiers.
    When it comes to how we were created, nobody is smarter than anyone. The simple reason for that is because nobody knows. My question was how come we hear all these stories of miracles from thousands of years ago, like the Jews in Egypt, but not in modern times.
    Actually, it seems to me that you are attempting to come across as smarter because you have faith. I think it's wonderful that you have that faith and I hope it helps you sleep at night, but that doesn't mean you know more than I. I don't see anything wrong with questioning faith, personally. I think that makes us all human. If we just accepted things as they are and never questioned anything then what would we have? People would still by dying at the ripe old age of 12 from Strep. If we didn't question what ailments God has given us then we'd have no cures, we would just throw our hands in the air and say "that's what God wants". If God wanted us to fly wouldn't he have given us wings?
    I know the simple answer for these questions, and what I'm sure you are thinking right now is "God gave us the intelligence to overcome his obstacles". Maybe you are right, maybe not. I don't know and neither do you, there is not one person on this planet who knows, 100%, what the answer is.
    I just call them as I see them....

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  8. So hey, it's after 6:00... I'm still here. Are you?

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  9. Red Bug...Life must be easy for people who believe that God causes everything to happen. God is not a micro manager. IMHO God put us here to live our lives in the best way possible and evolve (Evolution does not preclude the existance of God)to furthur improve life for all. For example, God doesn't cause lung cancer, smoking cigarettes does and that is a free, though stupid, choice that people make. The solar system and in fact the universe are evolving as well and some of the effects will be good and some bad but God is not up there with a baton. I have found, that in my lifetime,most all of the people that I have known that had Faith were good people regardless of religious beliefs and that many of the people who didn't believe in anything were not. Just an observation. Thankfully, God gave us the intelligence to decide for ourselves. If anyone out there still has doubts, study Fractal Geometry. A

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  10. Anon- I'm going to guess that you are not the same person as the previous anon because you seem more humble while the other seemed more arrogant.

    This posting is starting to get out of control, so let me sum this up....

    The original post was supposed to be humorous, whether or not people agree with my humor is up to them. I have never said ever that I do not believe in God, and whether I do or not is my personal business and nobody else's. I will question the existence of a higher power, which I'm sure all intelligent people do. Sometimes, people with closed minds to the world around them assume that I do not believe in a higher power because I question faith. I do not believe in organized religion and have made this point clear many,many, many times. I have not said that I don't believe in a holy spirit of some sort. I have, in the past, compared God to Santa Clause, and poked fun at people who go to the extreme and kill in the name of God. I poke fun at hypocrites who go to church then come home and beat their wives, or cheat on their spouse while wearing a cross around their neck. I find these people humorous, because they think they can do whatever they want as long as they confess their sins like good little Christians.
    I do agree with you that as long as you are good to your fellow man and always pay it forward you will be rewarded in the end. I do not think a holy ghost really cares if I go to church and give my money to a church, because as I said, are those church goers really better people than I? No, they are not. What bothers me about them, is the arrogant attitude you saw in the previous comment, they sin just as I do or as you do, but they hide it, they pretend they are better than anyone else in the world because they pray every Sunday. They see the world in black and white, while there is a gaping area of gray.
    Again, I wasn't looking to get into a huge religious debate, just poking a bit of fun at those nuts who were waiting for Jesus to come to them yesterday and who don't see the gray areas in life.

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