Interview with the Candidate

The following came from no real Press Conference or Town Hall Meeting, but it doesn't seem that far fetched, especially with Tea Bagger Republicans.
I think I'll do this in script form, feel free to act it out.

ACT 1 Scene 1

We join our Republican Candidate (RC) in a town hall form meeting, he will be taking questions from the audience. Each audience member comes from a different background and situation, we now join this meeting already in progress...

RC: Are there any questions? Yes, you, the man in the back

Local teacher: Mr.Candidate, you have said in your opening speech that you want to give the power back to business owners and lessen the power of the Unions, especially the Police and Teacher Unions. As a teacher what can I expect in your system?

RC: Excellent question. I think you'll find a fair system in one that benefits all people. As a teacher your "boss" is the American taxpayers and they are paying too much. By getting rid of your tenure and only paying you for the hours you work we can save the American people millions.

Local teacher: So, we won't get any pay for summer months?

RC: Of course not, your days of bleeding us dry are over. Everyone knows teachers don't work all summer, they sit around collecting pay.

Local teacher: There actually is work to do during summer and--

RC: (cuts off teacher) Next question, this line of questions is over.

Single Mother: Mr.Candidate, you mentioned cutting welfare programs does that include programs like Women In Crisis?

RC: Yes. Next question

Single Mother: Wait, wait! How can you do that?! What about single mothers who can't afford to work full time, pay for daycare and provide for my children?

RC: That sounds like your problem not the taxpayers problem.

Single Mother: Are you insane? Do you know how many single mothers are out there and need help?

RC: (Rolls eyes) Ever hear of marriage? You chose to be a single mother.

Single Mother: No I didn't! My husband died in a car accident!

RC: Did he have Life Insurance?

Single Mother: No.

RC: Well, it sounds to me like you should be mad at him, not me. Next question.

Parent of Child with Cancer: Mr.Candidate, I started a new job recently and the insurance company won't accept my child because she has a pre existing condition. What will you do to help Americans with this problem?

RC: I am dedicated to helping Americans, and my advice would be to not leave your prior Insurance Company since they were covering costs.

PCwC: What kind of advice is that? Can't you as President make insurance companies accept clients with pre-existing conditions?

RC: This is America, I can't force any business to do anything. Can I make Home Depot sell liquor? Can I make Target provide Life Insurance? No. Maybe you should have thought of that before, or call those St.Jude people. Insurance companies are among the biggest money makers in this country, so we pretty much let them do whatever they want.

Outraged Female Voter: What the fuck are you talking about? Who do you think will vote for someone who hates Unions, welfare programs and back the insurance companies? Are you insane?

RC: No, I know for a fact that real Americans who love America and American values will vote for me. Perhaps you just hate America.

OFV: You are nuts! I love America, I'm just tired of seeing our resources and money going to countries like Iraq while our people are told to "suck it up" and "don't drain our taxpayers".

RC: Ummmm, okay, so you claim to love America but now you're bitching about the American way? In case you didn't know, Iraq has hundreds of thousands of people without running water, electricity or even homes. Wanting all of our taxpayers money to go to America is a very anti-America way to think.

OFV: (stares in silence)

RC: Right, so any other questions? Preferably from real Americans.

Muslim Male: Yes, I have a question...

RC: Let me stop you right there Muhammad

MM: My name is Ken!

RC: Yea, sure it is. What I meant was any questions from Christian Americans, you know the ones that aren't trying to bring this country down.

MM: Sir, I was born here and your assumptions about my religion are horrible.

RC: Blah, blah, blah. Next.

Gay Male: Mr. Candidate, as a gay man---

RC: Okay, this meeting is over. Obviously there are no real Americans here. I'm going to Kansas.

And so ends our interview with the Candidate. The sad thing is there are politicians out there like this, even sadder; there are people ready to vote for them.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry